Tuesday 27 December 2016

A little catch up...


Hello everyone it's been a really long time. Buttt I'm back. I hope you had a lovely Christmas day, and I hope Santa spoiled you. I had a really good Christmas although in having said that it didn't feel Christmassy at all or is that just me? I LOVE Christmas so much yet it didn't feel it was Christmas.

Towards the end of the year I have gotten so bad with uploading blog posts, and I think the main reason may be because I have a YouTube channel but I don't want that to be stopping me from uploading Blog posts because I love talking over here too. YouTube is definitely more demanding than having a Blog, I just need to find the balance between both. Before I started my Blog or my YouTube channel I was terrified of what people would think, I was scared of putting myself out there and of people not liking me and people from school finding out. A year on and this Blog has made me the happiest I've been in a really long time. Of course like alot of things you do in life not a lot of people will have anything nice to say about it. The first time I heard that people didn't have nice things to say I felt really upset and almost considered deleting this. I am so happy I didn't because the reality is not everyone is going to like you or what you do. Always remember that. Do the things that make YOU feel happy and don't care what anyone else says. Always do what you want.
To sum this up I am so happy I stuck to doing my Blog and YouTube and I couldn't be any happier.

Not going to lie I've had a quite crappy couple of months towards the end of what I considered a good enough year. I've had to deal with loss, and it was tough. Losing family members is the hardest thing ever. And also on top of that my anxiety has gotten worse. It's been really tough. It's definitely not easy to lose family. Or for anxiety to take a turn for the worst, but in my opinion I think the minute you realize that there are going to be good moments in your life and bad ones in makes it that little bit better. Just think that you may be going through a bad time now but it will get better. That's what I've been saying anyway and it helps a little bit. You've just got to remember that you are never alone, and that there are people to talk to when you're not feeling good, and don't forget it.

I probbaly will do a reflecting on 2016 post, I love reading posts like that. So I'm not going to say too much here but overall it wasn't a bad year. And I'm a little apprehensive about 2017 but I am excited.

I do want my Blog to be more active in 2017 and hopefully I can actually stick to it this time. I'm exciteddd. This is definitely very rambly and all over the place but I don't think it would be a Fiona blog post without that. For those who supported me and are still reading my Blog and watching my YouTube videos, THANK YOU SO MUCH. It means the world.

See you soon,
                       Fiona xo


Monday 21 November 2016

Panic attack after panic attack...


Hey there, I hope you're having an amazing day. My blog is a little bit all over the place at the moment I'm not sure what I want to do with it.. like what content to post. Once I figure that out I hope it will be a bit better.

I have social anxiety: It is an anxiety disorder in which a person who is experiencing it is afraid of social situations (like talking infront of the class) also people who have social anxiety fear that they are constantly being judged and criticized by other people.

 I have an entire blog post dedicated to my story with anxiety and how I deal with it ( http://lookitsfifi.blogspot.ie/2016/02/my-struggle-with-anxiety.html ) It's a long read but hopefully it can make you understand a little bit better.

As if anxiety wasn't bad enough I also have panic attacks. These thankfully aren't that frequent and I probably experience them maybe three times a week, which isn't too bad. Lately my anxiety and panic attacks have been getting alot worse then usual. I go through phases where it is really good and I don't get anxious about much, but I also get times where my anxiety gets really bad where I can't even ask to go to the toilet in class and where I get a lot of panic attacks. Anxiety for anyone who has experienced it is a very uncomfortable and awkward feeling.

I do work experience every Monday and I love it, the people I work with are so lovely and kind. And I love the environment there. However, that is where my anxiety is really bad just because it's not something I'm used to doing every day. At school it's bad but nowhere as bad as work experience. Last night I was feeling very anxious and down, this morning was no different and on top of that I felt very sick (I have a flu). I was doing washup today where I work and for no reason at all I just started to get very dizzy, and my heart was beating so quickly. I found it difficult to breathe and I started sweating. I had to go away from everyone and try to compose myself. I started crying and I couldn't breathe. After fifteen minutes went past I decided to tell the people that I work with that I wasn't feeling well. They were so nice and really caring. They sat me down and gave me a glass of water. Twenty minutes went by and I was feeling better but I still wasn't breathing properly.My panic attack had gone, for then. Ten minutes later it came back and the room was spinning. I couldn't handle it.  I decided then that I wanted to go home, thankfully I had someone to collect me. The minute I sat down at home I relaxed so much. This was relieving but also very annoying because I really wanted to be able to overcome it so I don't have to leave a situation because of my anxiety.

I started to feel very guilty that I had to leave work, I felt like I would never be able to work somewhere. Basically I just started to beat myself up really badly which isn't fair. It's not my fault that I get anxious sometimes and that I can't control it.

Instead of dwelling on what happened I need to find a way to learn how to compose myself better. I tried breathing slower and that didn't really help. I tried grounding which is thinking of five things you can see, hear, smell and feel. This helped to a certain extent but not really.

I'm writing this just to say that if you deal with this too, you're not alone. Anxiety just makes even the simplest of things difficult. It's a constant battle of one moment feeling okay and an other moment you feel like you're crumbling. You're strong enough to deal with it and you can do it. Believe in yourself. I hope this post did kinda help in someway.

Have you ever had anxiety or panic attacks? And if so how did you deal with it?

Until next time,
                      Fiona x


Saturday 22 October 2016

A Year On...


Hey everyone, it has been such a long time since I've sat down and started writing a post (I'll go onto that later). My new YouTube video has just gone up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRPYtqqed0s (it's my Italy Vlog)

I started this Blog on the fifth of October 2015, so a year ago last week. To think that I've been doing this for a year is so crazy. I started watching Zoella on YouTube in May of 2014 (I think) and immediately I loved her. There was just something about her that really stood out to me. I had never watched YouTube before that. I had never known that there were such people as YouTuber's I would occasionally watch YouTube for school projects but never to the extent I watch it now. Like YouTube I never knew there were Blogs either. I didn't even know what a Blog was until I read Zoe's again I fell in love with the way it connected with people. From then on I really wanted to have my own Blog. However I was terrified of what people (in school and outside) would think of me.

Putting myself out there at a stage where I had no self confidence and at a time where my anxiety was really bad was terrifying. I was also sitting my Junior Cert that Summer so it really didn't seem like a good time.
I remember I had been thinking about creating my own Blog after reading Zoe's novel Girl Online. On the fifth of October I came home from school because I had a panic attack and because I wasn't feeling well. That day I decided I was going to just do it and create it. I don't think I'll ever forget how nervous I was when I created it. When people at school found out (I put up when I had a new Blog post on my Snapchat and Instagram) I started to get even more anxious. One time I even got so close to deleting it but I was then reminded by my friends of why I had started it. Some people said they didn't like my Blog that it was too forced and dramatic and boring.. but you always have to remember that not everyone is going to love everything you do, that's just the way life is. The only real and important thing I learnt from my business class was ' without critics you'll likely have no success'. This has literally kept me going for everything. Before I started my Blog besides my Instagram there was nothing else I really loved doing. The beauty about a Blog is that you can talk about anything you want. It can range from beauty topics, fashion, food or relationships literally anything.

I have always found school really difficult even in primary school I would be the worst in the class just because nothing could stay in my brain. In secondary school I started to feel very stupid and hopeless. In my mind there was nothing I was good at I had to work so hard even just to pass a test. I was absolutely terrified about my Junior Cert (which I actually did okay in, I was shocked) there was eleven subjects I found so difficult. When I started writing my Blog I was so happy that there was something I really enjoyed to do to take my mind off how stressed I was for exams. Looking back now the Junior Cert is nothing to worry about at all.



Obviously having a Blog and a YouTube channel in such a small school where everyone knows everyone people are going to find out.. which initially was my biggest fear. Some people have been so nice and of course some haven't but that's just the way life is. Having people make fun of something that you love and something that already gives you alot of anxiety isn't a nice feeling. Although at the end of the day if you're doing the thing that makes you feel happy (which for me took ages to find)  fuckkkk what anyone else says. Because if someone is sad enough with their own life to have to make fun of someone else's happiness that just shows how sad their life is. It also shows that they're not nice people.. I believe that the people who pick on others aren't truly happy in themselves. Surround yourself with people who make you want to do better and people who make you feel positive.

I haven't published a post on this since August. The reason for that is because I started to feel very unmotivated. I wrote posts but they weren't good enough for me to publish. I've also been very busy but I do want to post more because I love writing on this.

Creating my Blog and my YouTube is the best decision I've ever made.. I love writing a post and making a video. They make me happy. I want to try and help people with my videos and my posts. If you want to create a Blog or a YouTube Channel or whatever it may be do it. Because although I was terrified I am so happy I did it.

'You never know until you try'

That's pretty much all I wanted to say. Thanks for reading x


Thursday 25 August 2016

Be Careful Online...


Hey everyone, I know it's been a while since my last post! It's been a crazy few months! I've been so busy with my YouTube Channel it's crazy! I've also been lacking a lot of motivation and ideas for what to post over here!

Something happened to me yesterday night that really shook and upset me. I'm not going to go into too much detail about it because it is a little bit uncomfortable for me to talk about, but if this can save at least one person that is amazing. Last night I got a message from a man on Facebook named 'Conor Connolly' (the reason I am saying his name is to warn others about him.. he is vile and disgusting if you get a friend request/message from this vile man please don't accept/answer. He is dangerous)  He started messaging me casually so I messaged him back just to be nice. I guess you can see where this is going.. I have just turned 17 and this guy is in his like 20's (that's what he said anyway, but who knows) he asked me my age so from the very beginning he was made aware of my age. He then asked me if I had a bf which I said no to.. he then turned the questions to a very sexual turn.. I protested saying he shouldn't be asking a minor those questions that it was illegal. He was being incredibly pushy and just gross.  Because I'm an idiot I made up answers to some of the questions he was asking instead of just blocking him.. he then asked me for nudes and I said no. He then threatened to send my Dad on Facebook our conversation (don't ask how he knew my Dad's facebook I have no idea..) if I didn't send him nudes. At this point I was so angry and upset. I told him basically to fuck off that he was asking a minor for nudes. My sister stepped in and told him that it was illegal and he was blackmailing me. He even agreeded to what we said. However he kept the threat going until I blocked him. It was so terrifying and made me re-think everything.

You don't need to tell me I'm an Idiot and that I'm stupid and naive because I already know that. That night I had the biggest panic attack ever.. I felt so guilty and ashamed that I responded to such a creep and put myself at risk like that.Thankfully I have such amazing friends and family that helped me through it!!  I usually respond to everyone because I want to be nice.. and if the conversation ever gets inappropriate I usually tell the person to back off.. but this time I didn't because he manipulated me so well (not pushing all the blame on him, I'm still an Idiot). The things this man said to me were horrific and just disgusting which is why I am not putting in the screenshots. Don't make the mistake I did.

Despite the fact that it was a terrifying experience it was still a wake up call. Not all people you meet are legit and have the best interests for you. ESPECIALLY ONLINE. Please don't make the mistake I did. People like this are out for one thing which is to catch you up.. they are vile people. Please be careful.

I honestly got myself so down over this.. I didn't really sleep last night because I felt disgusting. I was naive and stupid and shouldn't have answered his questions (even if I was bluffing in most of the answers) it still wasn't okay. Atleast I know that now. However what this (deletes mean words haha) man did was inexcusable. HE was asking for naked pictures of a MINOR. That is Illegal.. The things he said to me were disgusting and.. ugh I honestly felt sick to my stomach. This was a massive wake up call for me, I am no longer messaging people I don't know and stopping the conversation when it gets inappropriate. Please don't make the mistake I did.. it was so scary! Stay safe x



Sunday 7 August 2016

It's Been A While


Hey there, I have a lot of explaining to do. It's been well over a month since my last blog post. After my exams finished I promised myself that my blog would be so active (maybe even a post twice a week). The truth is I haven't really been feeling great this past month. I actually have a YouTube video describing some of this (how crazy does that sound to say haha)
It is called Emotional Chit-Chat (I will get more into my YouTube Channel later).

After my exams I went through a week of pure happiness, I was so happy that the Junior Cert was over and I could finally put that shit behind me (dreading the results though haha) I really had such a good week after the exams, however the second week everything just seemed to hit me. When you're waiting for exams all year, I found that I didn't really have time to be sad or to overthink and let my thoughts get to me. I was so busy with school and worrying about exams my thoughts were just about exams.. So being off school and not having exams meant that I now had time for the negative thoughts to hit me, which no surprise they did.

 I've just started my YouTube channel a month ago, and to me my video quality isn't great. I don't have the best camera, or I don't have an editing software (the struggle is real) so I just felt like I wasn't good enough. I compared myself to people like Zoella,and Eve Bennett and comparing yourself to other people is never ever a good thing. Like I've just started of course I'm not going to be as good as them, they've had years of experience. However, I'm still not pleased with it then my worrying came onto this Blog, I started comparing myself to other Blogger's. A few of my favorite Blogger's are Zoella, Tanya Burr, Poppy Deyes and Hello Holly ( her blog and YouTube channel are so amazing, and she's Irish!! She's so talented and lovely! Highly recommend that you check her out) all of they're blogs look and are so incredible. I got too bogged down over how professional my blog should look.. Whereas honestly I am just an amateur, I have just started and at the end of the content is so much more important than how it looks. I started a blog not to be a professional I started it to get my thoughts out and to do what made me happy.

The reason I started this Blog is because I really was interested in blogs and how they connected with people. I love reading blogs and thought I might as well get started and try it. It was one of the best things I have done this year, it was so much fun and I was so excited to get to write a post every week. After my last post which was Anxiety & School, everything started to go downhill. I was more scarred of putting myself out there I was terrified of what people would think, I was self conscious and it wasn't nice. I wasn't excited to post a new blog post.. I did write some but was so unhappy with them that I didn't post them. My blog may not look like Zoe's hers is so incredible, but mine is still me to a T.Everything I post I want to post, and feel passionate about. I am doing something that makes me feel happy. I started YouTube because I've been interested in it for so long, I really wanted to see what it was like. I have three videos over there, which actually turned out so much better than I thought. They're not amazing or anything. Knowing that strangers can see my videos and even people I know gives me such anxiety, however also knowing that people I don't know are subscribing to me.. and commenting on my videos and even some other YouTubers are talking to me is such a weird and amazing feeling. The support has been amazing.

I got myself so invested into what people would think about me that I didn't want to make another post the overthinking sucks so bad. One friend once told me 'without critics you'll likely have no success'. If you're doing what makes you happy fuck what other people think. If someone has the time to be looking into what other people are doing.. and is hating on that person because they are getting their self out there that clearly means that, that person is jealous and has nothing better to be doing. How sad is it for some people to take the piss out of someone for doing what makes them happy? It's so sad. If you're not doing what you love because you're too scared of what people think, try and remember that 'without critics you'll likely have no success'. Your idol has dealt with hate at some stage of their life. However they are still doing their thing. You do you. As easy as it is to give advice to people about being strong and to try and do what they love it is very hard to actually take that on board myself. I just try and remember that every struggle I go through is a step closer to getting to where I want to be. There will be storms but they will clear up and the sun will come through. This process is like a circuit it happens again and again, but each time you get stronger. There will be some downfalls but you can get through them and you can get up again.
Life is like falling off a bike, you get up and try and tackle life again. Do what makes you happy. Love you x

Saturday 2 July 2016

Let's Talk About: Anxiety & School


Living with anxiety is really difficult. It is the constant fear that everything you do is wrong or simply not good enough. Doing simple tasks like eating in front of people, putting something in the bin or standing/talking in front of people can be very difficult. These are things that some people don't have to second guess, things most people regard as easy. Life becomes even more difficult than it already is and an easily collapse without any notice.

I have known that I've had anxiety from the age of fourteen, however when I was twelve I had anxiety too, I had no clue that what I had been feeling had a name, that being anxiety. I remember I would cry before I went places because I was too scared that I would either see someone I knew, or make a fool out of myself. I would have heat palliations while queuing, I would feel like everyone's eyes were drilling into me laughing at me and judging me. From the vulnerable age of twelve I thought I was the weirdest person in the world, I would constantly ask myself why I wasn't enough, or why I couldn't just be normal!

When I was twelve mental health problems were never thought ins school (or anywhere I knew of for that matter), I thought the only health problems you could have were physical health issues such as athsma (which I also have). Don't get me wrong, health problems are serious but why is it that anyone suffering with mental illness's are brushed away? Just because you can't see mental health as easy as health that doesn't mean it shouldn't be dealt with in the same way.

Why is it that children aren't being taught about how serious mental illness's are? They're  not being taught about the dangers of not looking after yourself.
I didn't know that what I was was normal, in fact loads of people suffer with anxiety and many other mental illness's may not know that what they have can be treated. Finding out that what I had (being anxiety) was so liberating and relieving.

Today, I am a sixteen year old still battling crippling anxiety. I still find it hard queuing in shops, I still fall into endless panic attacks over 'stupid' things, but you know what? I am not the only person dealing with this knowing that helps me stay strong. It helps me feel at ease with myself.

Going to school with anxiety is the most difficult thing ever. I started secondary school when I was fourteen (which is actually quite old here in Ireland), I had not yet found out that I had anxiety. That first year of school was hell, I was vulnerable and  immature. Academically, I have always found school very difficult. I was never the top of any class. Maths in particular forever being my dowfnall. I would have panic attack after panic attack in classrooms because the fear of being asked to talk out in class was over-whelming and often I couldn't handle it also the fear of not being good enough in a subject was over-whelming. I have always been hard on myself, so when I didn't do as well as I would have liked that is when the self punishment started.

I will always think that the education system is fucked. I am grateful for the opportunity to have an education, but it is definitely flawed. I found the first two years of school very tough. I am not 'booksmart' and I find school extremely difficult. There were subjects in school I was doing that I hated, I had no interest in. For example, business (important but I could not give a crap about it), music, religion, science (again important but not for me) there are various subjects I had to do in my school which I could not give a shit about. What is the point of studying something you don't like? I'm bad at studying anyway but studying something I don't like, chances are I won't do it.

However there are things that I am interested in which are not tested in school, for example photography and drama. So for anyone in school who is A battling anxiety or B studying something they don't like or are getting bad grades. Don't worry. Everything in life happens for a reason, and there is something you are good at. Stay passionate and stay strong.

Moral of Blog Post: People should be taught at a young age about mental health illness's. Then people will be more aware and will know how to handle it if they ever find themselves having a mental illness. There is definitely still a stigma around Mental Health that needs to be resolved.
Also do the things you love, not everyone is booksmart and some people find school difficult. That's okay, there is always other ways of doing the things you are passionate about.

Stay strong and slay,
Lots of love,

                    Fiona xo

Wednesday 29 June 2016

Let's Talk About: Makeup AND exciting news


Hello, welcome back to my Let's Talk About series. Today as you can tell by the title I am talking about Makeup. Disclaimer this is not a tutorial (I'm not that good at makeup) this is just me talking about what I think on a general scale of makeup.

I love makeup, unfortunately I'm not that good at makeup but I still do like to wear it. Before I did my makeup today I took a picture of me wearing no makeup, and then a picture of me wearing makeup. The difference shocked me a little bit.


Before:

 After:




I wear makeup because I love wearing it. I just love how you can do so many different looks with it, and how it can completely change a look. I also love it because it makes me feel more confident on for eg a bad skin day, or if I'm feeling crappy I'll just pop on some lipstick and I feel better. I don't wear makeup everyday because let's face it, I'm the laziest person you're gonna meet. I wear makeup if I'm going somewhere (besides school) special occasions and for practice. I am still not as good as I would like to be with makeup, but I guess practice makes perfect and you learn more and more as you go on.

At the end of this post I will list the products I used, if you're interested.
I always knew that of course makeup can completely change how a person looks, obviously because you are putting things on to your face to cover blemishes, cancel out redness, highlight your cheekbones etc.
However I feel like the girls/boys that wear makeup can get a lot of criticism for wearing makeup, or even how the makeup looks and people who don't wear makeup can get some criticism too.

Personally, I always believe that you should do/wear what you want. If you want to wear makeup everyday, great! If you only want to wear makeup for weekends, or special occasions also great! And if you don't want to wear makeup at alll, that's completely okay! Do you, and do what makes you happy. I find it so irritating when someone degrades someone just because of their choice to wear makeup or not! I have heard people being called 'sluts' because in someone's opinion they wear too much makeup, I have also heard people being called arrogant because they choose not to wear makeup, or they don't wear enough makeup. You can never win, so you may as well do what you want.
I am guilty of saying people wear too much makeup, I do it and then I'm like they could say the exact same thing about me, which is why I just tell myself that if that person feels comfortable with that amount of makeup that's none of my business and to stop being so judgmental.

I also believe that if you choose to wear makeup, wear what ever makeup you think flatters you and that you feel makes you feel good. Don't not wear a particular lipstick shade, or eye-shadow shade because someone says it looks bad on you. If you like it, wear it.  

I don't personally know of any boys that wear makeup, I do know of YouTube boys who wear makeup eg Manny Mua, who flippin kills it! I know that any men you work on television or go on television do wear makeup to tone down shine and stuff, but I feel like boys have just as a right to wear makeup. So if you're a boy who wants to wear makeup, do it. You only live once (I did just go there) so you may as well! Don't just leave the contouring to the girls, own it.


Moral of this blog post, do what makes you happy, and wear makeup if you want to. SLAY.

Products I used:



  • Foundation: Boirjois Healthy Mix Serum (52)
  • Powder: No7 Light Pressed Powder
  • Concealer: Maybelline Eye Eraser (Yes I know it's an eye concealer, but I also use it for blemishes) (light)
  • Highlight, Contour, Blush: Rimmel London Kate Moss Sculpting Kit (Coral Glow)
  • Bronzer: Rimmel London Sun Bronze (022)
  • Eyebrows: w7 Brow Parlour
  • Eyeshadow: Sleek In the Storm and W7 Shades of Grey (I used the white shade in my inner corner) 
  • Eyeliner: Rimmel Soft Kohl Kajel Eye Pencil (white) I use this in my waterline to open up my eyes. 
  • Lipstick: L'Oreal Paris Privee Color Riche Lipstick 721 Eva's Nude. This is my absoloute favorite nude.
  • Mascara: Rimmel Lash Accelerator Endless. 

Thank you so much for reading, here is my exciting news. I am starting a YouTube Channel soon. Yes ME. Which may not be exciting for you, but it is for me. I can't wait to start and see what it's like. I will give you more information when the time comes.

Lots of love,

                   Fiona xo

Thursday 23 June 2016

Let's Talk About: Exams


I'M BACK, BACK AGAIN.. (sorry). It's been over a month since my last blog post, and I'm just so excited to be back in action! So, over the last two weeks I've been doing exams, more specifically my Junior Cert. If you're not from or living in Ireland the Junior Cert is basically an exam you do three years into secondary school, it's not that important. However I was still really nervous and scared about it, because teachers make it sound a lot worse than it actually is! My friend Joe has a YouTube video on 'The Junior Cert Rant'. It is so funny and definitely worth a watch he almost has 1k views which is amazing!!! Go over there and watch it, and subscribe because his videos are great! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Kx5krgMM80

Before I go into my rant about exams, I would just like to say that I'm doing a 'Let's Talk About' series. Anyone who may know me will know that I'm very opinionated and I argue a lot. I might do these every once in a while. If you want me to talk about something in this, please let me know.

My Experience With Exams:

Okay, so since the start of secondary school I've been plagued with 'you need to know this for your junior cert' 'your jc is important' from teachers. And it's really annoying and daunting, since first year they tell you that the Junior Cert is a big deal! So when I got into third year, the junior cert was pretty much awaiting me. This sounds stupid to say now looking back on it, but at the time this was a really big fear of mine, every night in third year at the beginning I would come home crying realizing how close the exams were and I was terrified that I would fail my exams, and do really badly. This was a re-occuring fear of mine. It would just never go away. I'm not going to lie, I am definitely not the smartest in school.. I struggle with a lot of things and I'm also not good at studying which doesn't help my case. So going into the mocks (a pre- exam, to give you an idea of what the actual exam is like) I didn't study as much as I thought I would, to be honest I did hardly anything. There was some subjects I did really badly on, but these are the subjects I struggled with. After the mocks I began to realize that I badly needed to pull up my socks and study. I did a little bit of study, nothing massive just a tiny bit. Definitely not enough.

The week before my exams, I was an anxious mess. I have anxiety and panic attacks anyway ( Blog post on this: http://lookitsfifi.blogspot.ie/2016/02/my-struggle-with-anxiety.html ) so this was nothing new, except for the fact that they were much stronger, the simplest thing would make me fly over the edge and it wasn't pretty.
Someone I really loved died the night before my exams, and that really pushed me over the edge. That night I just had a major breakdown, I couldn't handle it. I think the fact that I was so unprepared mentally and physically for the exams just made me really scared!

I just want to say that my exams were definitely not as bad as I thought they would be. I definitely didn't get any A's or B's or anything! But they were not bad!! So here I am, living AFTER THE EXAMS. I wished for this day for a really long time. I thought my exams were the be all and end all, but they're not, I'm still here.


My Opinion On Exams:

I know that exams are important, they are! In my opinion the education system is so fucked up, I am so grateful for the opportunity to be educated because I know not many people don't get the chance. However I think having exams at such a fragile age, isn't fair.  We should be figuring out what kind of people we are, figuring out what we want to do with our lives not stressing and crying over exams. It is so easy for someone to say 'don't worry just do your best', but sometimes when you try your best it still isn't good enough. Like I've said before I find school really difficult, I'm not smart education wise. However there are things I love that are not tested for example, photography in our school we don't have the chance to do this, I know that other schools in other countries do have the opportunity to do this if they wish. They also don't test emotional intelligence which is something I love. There are so many things that are not tested in school, which you could be amazing at. If you're like me and aren't booksmart that is OKAY. It is, everyone has something they are good at. Follow your dreams and do the thing that is your passion! I know that if you want to be a doctor or a nurse or a layer or anything like that you have to pass a serious amount of exams. But if that is the thing you want to spend the rest of your life doing it will be worth it!!

Exam months can be really terrifying, and can definitely be anxious times. I know that this is so much easier said than done, but just do the best you can and try not to worry too much! At the end of the day they are just exams, and they don't matter that much. If you fail your exams and can't do the thing you want to do there is other ways of doing that thing! Don't loose hope, there is always other ways! It may take longer, it may take a lot of work but if it's the thing you love it will be worth it!!

I am just so happy to be back blogging again! I may also be doing another exciting thing this Summer, that I may (if I go ahead with it) be telling you guys about soon! I hope this helped you if you're going through exams or if you know someone going through exams! I wish you the best of luck getting your results!

Lots of love,

                        Fiona xo

Sunday 22 May 2016

My Pamper Evening


Hey there, I decided today to have a bit of a pamper day. I have never had one of these just because I don't know I've never really thought about it. Today was very productive I did all my homework and even a little bit of study, so I finished up early and decided to have a pamper evening. I did a blog post yesterday (and if you have not read that it's just after this one) but because I haven't blogged in like three weeks, I decided to do another one. 

So, from eleven o'clock this morning to like four o'clock (I had a break in between) I was doing homework and revision, so I was pretty productive for me anyway. 



Showering 











Whenever I've had a stressful day I love to relax by having a shower, I don't think anything in the world will ever feel as nice as a shower. It's just a great way to relax, and as a bonus you smell great! Some people like to have their shower before their productive day, but personally I like to have it after because it means I can just relax and take my time with everything. 

  1. I condition my hair first using the L'Oreal Paris Elvive Smooth Intense Anti-Frizz Conditioner. I know conditioning your hair first before shampooing may sound weird (unless you do it) but honestly it makes washing my hair that little bit easier, it tames my hair. I have extremely frizzy/curly hair and I find that conditioning it first softens it and makes it easier to shampoo. 
  2. I wash my hair with the Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Shampoo. I love this shampoo so much, because I find it so easy to lather and I feel like it makes my hair really soft, and it smells so amazing! I wash my hair every three/four days and on day three/four I can still smell the shampoo, which is amazing! 
  3. I wash my body using Soap & Glory Foam Call. I love this so much, it's so soapy and smells amazing! The smell lasts a really long time and its just great!
  4. I wash my face with Nivea Gentle Cleansing Cream Wash. This is tailored for people who have dry skin, and let me tell you it is amazing! It leaves my skin feeling so soft and I can't get enough! 
  5. On Sunday, I use Simple Kind To Skin Smoothing Facial Scrub. This leaves my skin feeling so soft and clean! It's amazing. 


Comfy Clothes




When I'm having a comfy/lazy day I love wearing pajamas and having a no makeup day! The top is from River Island and the bottoms are from Penneys/Primark. Excuse how bad my skin is lately, I'm having the worst breakout and also my eyebrows badly need to grow back! SO please excuse.
My favorite scent is the Zoella Let's Spritz. I love this so much! It is perfect for this time of year, it is from her Tutti Fruity Range it is just beautiful. Nothing is better than smelling amazing. 


FaceMask




My friend got me a a facemask ages ago, I've never used one before and I didn't use half enough product as I was supposed to but that's okay I'll know next time. I used the 7th Heaven Creamy Coconut. I love this because even though I only used a little bit my skin felt so moisturized and soft. I left it on for fifteen minutes. And to add it was so relaxing and calming. 


Painting My Nails 


 
  



Unfortunately I am really bad at painting my nails, but nevertheless I still love painting them! I used this beautiful silver by Rimmel London in 239 Your Majesty. Can we just take a moment to appreciate that name! I love it! This color is so beautiful, I can't get enough! Painting your nails can be such a relaxing and calming thing, and I love it. 

I have incredibly dry hands, and showering can make my hands so dry so I use my trustee Zoella Wonder Hand (I have a review on this if you would like to read, after this of course: http://lookitsfifi.blogspot.ie/2016/01/zoella-wonder-hand-moisturising-hand.html ). I love Zoe so much, and all of her products that I have! I cannot wait to get my hands on her new range Sweet Sensations. This hand cream is so moisturising and amazingly scented. I can't get enough! It makes my hands feel so luxurious and they smell amazing. 



Lounge Time




Lounging around and relaxing is my favorite thing to do, I love it. After dinner I treated myself to Zoe's
(I have mentioned her so much throughout this post, I love her) new video! Please excuse how low quality that photo is, you can even see me through it which is really embarrassing but what can you do. I made some Chamomile Tea which heads up I don't like, I just said I'd try it because I've never tried it before. 

Lighting candles is so realxing, and slightly romantic and I am a romantic person I love everything like that! I feel like it adds a really nice atmosphere and it's so relaxing. 

One of my all time favorite books is The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I have read this three times already, I LOVE IT. Reading is something I have loved since a child, now I'm so busy with school I don't get the time to read as much as I would like. 


Enjoy your day!


This morning when I was contemplating having a pamper day or not I was questioning if I deserved it. Honestly I haven't done much revision yet (which is so bad) so I was like really Fiona you shouldn't be taking ANOTHER day off. However it's not like I took a full day off, because I was working from eleven to four on school work (I'm still not finished) but I found myself getting really anxious and just blah, so I just did it. 
Honestly I felt a little bit selfish doing it as well, but you know what I've never in my life done anything like this, and it was so nice. I could just relax for a few hours and it was lovely. I would highly recommend it if you have not yet tried it. You deserve it, it is important to take breaks and relax! It's good for you. 

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this post. This is probably the last you'll be seeing of me on here until the end of June, just because I have exams really soon. I do have my social medias which you can follow me on if you like. Twitter: @ lookitsfifi Insta: @ http.lookitsfifi Snapchat : fifimc99
Until then, best of luck in exams if you have them and stay strong.

Lots of Love, 

                     Fiona x

Saturday 21 May 2016

If you need to hear this


I haven't done a blog post in what feels like ages, because I've just got caught up with piles of school work. 

I was briefly talking to one of my friends about the month of May being horrible/stressful (hey girl). I was talking to her about how stressed I was this month because of exams, and she said she was also stressed as well, so that led me to think about positive vibes for a crappy time. 

So I know that a lot of us are doing exams at the minute, and not going to lie I am the worst for dealing with stress especially exam stress. To say the least I am so unprepared for exams, but that is not what this is about. I'm just so bad at studying, and I also struggle alot in school, so I'm just genuinely stressed all the time. Even if you're not doing exams, you can still be going through a bad time and that is perfectly okay and perfectly normal. 

I feel like people don't get told how well they are doing enough! People can be so quick to criticize but are so so slow to compliment. That shouldn't be the way it is. I love complimenting people because it could really make that persons day, when I get complimented I get really awkward, but it can definitely make my day. 

If you feel shitty or just unmotivated and drained from life I just want to remind you:

  •  You ARE enough. 
  • You're trying and that's what matters.
  •  Everyone goes through different things so do not compare yourself to other people, because that just leads to sadness and more stress. 
  • You survived today and that in itself is amazing, some days can be amazing and some can be unbearable but it's all about believing in yourself.
  • Exams are only for the next couple of months, you can get through them.
  • You can only do the best you can in exams, and that is all that matters. As long as you know you did as good as you could, you shouldn't compare yourself to other people. This is one of my many flaws, I compare myself to others alot, It doesn't help in the slightest. 
  • You are loved, sometimes it can seem like no one loves you, but that's not true at all. 
  • You're doing great, it can feel like sometimes you're just crumbling and everything you're doing is just not working out. Remember that, that's okay not everything will work out at first! 
  • Do things because you want to.
  • I love you. 


You can do this, and you're doing great! Know that everything won't go your way, and that's okay! For me at the moment I've been telling myself in school that with ie. science I won't need this in my  life or I won't be doing it after the junior cert, I'm bad at it I know that, and that's okay. I'm just focusing on the subjects I do like ie English. 
I feel like this is very rambly, but I hoped this helped. 

You're doing amazing, 

                                 Fiona xo


 

Sunday 1 May 2016

My April Favorites


I love watching and reading these type of videos on YouTube and Blogs, and I have been enjoying a lot of products this month so I though I'd share them with you guys.


Skincare

This is the Nivea Gentle Cleansing Cream Wash. I loooove this so much. This is for dry and sensitive skin, and from a dry skin gal I can tell you it is amazing. After I use this my skin feels so soft and clean and so refreshed. On boots it says this is €5.19. I would give this a 8/10.


Makeup:



This is Mac Mineralize Foundation. I love this. I got this off my sister maybe two months ago, and I have been using it a lot. I would say it is a medium to full coverage foundation. On Mac's website it says that 'lightweight foundation that instantly nourishes skin with mineral-rich hydration'. I 100% agree with this. It feels really light on the skin, hydrates my skin really nicely and looks great! This covers blemishes really well, and doesn't cake me up that much. On Mac's website it says this is €36.00, that is quite the splurge, but definitely worth it. For us dry skin beauts this is sooo good! However, if you have oily skin I don't think this is for you just because it is such a dewy foundation. I would give this a 10/10.



This is Maybelline Lash Sensational. Since this came out, most of the beauty guru's have been raving about this. I got this a few weeks after it came out, and since then it is my go to mascara. It is amazing. As you can see the want is curved, one side has shorter bristles and the other longer bristles. I use the short bristles just to coat the mascara on first and the longer bristles to curl my lashes. I love the size of the wand because I have very small eyes and most mascaras are difficult to apply for me. I find that this lasts all day without drooping, however sometimes I can end up with little specks of black on my face, but it's not too bad! Overall I would give this a 9.5/10.



This is a blush from L'Oreal Paris. This is in the shade Rose Santal. I love this a lot, it is such a beautiful rose colour. I find that it is so natural, and not a barbie pink at all. It adds such a nice glow to the face, and I've been obsessing over it. I can't find this on the website, but I bought this in Boots for €10.99. I would give this a 7/10.

This is L'Oreal Paris 379 Sensual Rose. I love this so much, I wear this on natural makeup days. It is so moisturizing and lasts a long time. I have a blog post on my top 5 favourite lipsticks if you would like to check that out. This one is included in it.  http://lookitsfifi.blogspot.ie/2016/03/my-top-5-favorite-lipsticks-rimmel.html
I would give this lipstick a 8/10. I believe I got this for around €10.

Makeup Brushes:

This is the Real Techniques Buffing Brush, I love all of the real techniques brushes. I think they are great quality and quite affordable brushes. I love this brush, it blends the foundation really well and doesn't leave streaks! I got this in the Core Collection Palette, I believe for €22. I would give this a 7/10.

This is another Real Techniques Brush, this is called the Contour Brush. Please excuse how dirty it is, I really need to clean it. I don't actually use this for contouring, I love this for blending concealer! I think it is too small to contour, I find it hard anyway but for blending concealer it works amazingly. I got this in the Core Collection Palette as well as the Buffing Brush. I would give this brush a 9/10.

Body Fragrance


This is the Zoella Let's Spritz. If you've been reading my blog for a while or if you know me, you may know that I am obsessed with Zoe so much. I think she is amazing. So is her beauty range, I love everything I have from her range so far, and this is definitely no acceptation. It smells like Summer in a bottle. It smells amazing. I got this for €10.00. I would rate this 10/10.


Hair:

I am the laziest person when it comes to my hair, I don't really use that many products in it. I wash it twice a week with shampoo and conditioner and  I use this Frizz No More serum. If you have frizzy hair like myself you know the struggle. My friend got me this for Christmas, it tames my hair really well. It smells really nice and works amazingly. I would give this a 9/10.

Choker:

My sister got me this gorgeous choker from Claire's. I really like this, it's so different and unique. I love it. I'm rating this a 10/10.

Music: 

Music is my life. I cannot not listen to music. Over this month I have been loving:



This is BlackBear's I don't fucking care, I'm not sure when this song came out, but this month I've been obsessing with it. I love BlackBear as well. 


I have been loving this song by Ruelle, it is called War of Hearts! I am so obsessed with this it is so enchanting I can't get over it. I have also been loving her Album Up in Flames. 

That is everything I have been loving this month. I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you've been having a great week. Next week I want to do a Review on The Rimmel London Kate Moss Sculpting Palette. If you would like me to do that please let me know.

I also can't believe it is the 1st of May already, my exams start roughly this time next month, that is actually crazy and really scary. Unprepared is an understatement. Anyway, that's it for now,
 Lots of Love,
                Fiona xx

Wednesday 27 April 2016

Am I good enough?


I think we all have felt like we aren't good enough at some stage of our lives. It is possibly one of the worst feelings ever and I honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 

The main causes of me not feeling good enough is usually relationships and school. I hate when you're with somebody and you're just wondering if you're good enough I also hate when you're in a class that you hate, and you literally feel so down. For me this is business, Irish, science and maths just because I am so bad at these subjects and no matter what I just feel like whatever I do it isn't enough. Feeling like you've tried your best and it's not good enough is so hard to take not going to lie. 

My tips:

  1. Remember you ARE enough. 
  2. You are trying and that's what matters.
  3. If you are feeling overwhelmed, do something that makes you feel good for example I love running because it makes me feel like I am in control of what I feel, and I can change it. 
  4. If it is a subject you are worrying about, do as much study as you can! At least then you tried your best, and that's what matters. 
  5. If it's a person you are worrying about, talk to that person, it may take a lot of courage but at least you'll know the answer. If that person doesn't appreciate your presence their loss not yours.
  6. Focus on you. This is something most of us don't do, we focus on others. It is not selfish to focus on your self at the end of the day it is your life, and you have to live it for yourself and not others. If something is making you upset you have the ability to change it. I know this sounds daunting and easier said than done to change. 
  7. Remember that it is okay not to be okay. It is perfectly normal for some days to be feeling amazing and others to be quite hard and tough, that's just the way life is. 
  8. Remember that you got this. And you can do it if you believe in yourself. 


I just wanted to post this because I've been feeling so overwhelmed and not good enough, and honestly it's horrendous. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like this, hopefully these tips helped.
Stay strong, 
             Fiona xx

Sunday 17 April 2016

My Weekend Morning Routine

♡My weekend Morning Routine


Hello there, as you can tell this week I am doing my weekend morning routine. I for one love watching these videos on YouTube and reading blog posts routine related. I just love being able to see what somebody does in their morning. Without any more delay let's get into it!




Waking Up:


I let myself sleep in on the weekends until around 10:30 am just because I get up at 7:00 AM on a school day. I don't set an alarm so I don't always get up exactly at half past ten, but it's usually around there. 


This looks incredibly messy I'm sorry, this is literally what it looked like when I woke up.
Don't worry, I made the bed straight after. 



Breakfast:


My breakfast is very plain, just because I don't like eating a lot of heavy food in the morning. So this is just plain butter on toast.


A glass of water is so important, I'm sure like everyone else it's one of the first things you reach for in the morning. 



Getting ready for the day:



I love starting the day with a shower. It can just immediately make my mood go up, and on the plus side I smell good thanks to this Soap & Glory Foam Call I love this so much. Not only does it smell great, it lasts all day and feels so refreshing. It's literally heaven in a bottle.

I use the Nivea Gentle Cleansing Cream Wash as my face wash. It is so good. I got this as a present from my friend, and its so nice. It caters for people who have dry and sensitive skin. What I love about it is, it leaves my skin feeling so soft throughout the day and it just feels so silky.  




This is just a simple picture of my toothbrush and toothpaste, I know pretty self explanatory. Nothing feels better than fresh breath in the morning. 



I usually just wear what I wear to Youth club from the night before. So that was this lovely cropped white jumper from TopShop, and my pair of high wasted jeans from River Island, and my absolute favorite pair of Converse. In the first picture I have makeup on because I was going to YouthClub, but when I'm just at home doing nothing I'm not wearing any makeup. I just forgot to take a melfie today. 


  
I'm sorry about the first picture that you can see my reflection in the window, I only noticed it now, and my blur didn't do the best job, but what can you do. 
Sure are one of my favorite brands for deodorants, they last all day. And just smell amazing. I use the Sure Bright Bouquet it smells incredible. 
For that extra nice smell, I use Zoella Let's Spritz by the amazing Zoe Sugg. This smells like Summer in a bottle. As you can see it is well loved, and you can't go wrong with this scent. The reason this photo is so small is because my reflection was in the window again but the blur didn't work at all so I cropped it. 


 Next, I use this Ziaja natural olive cream as my moisturizer, I love this so much. It makes my skin really soft and really dewy. 


 For my hand cream, I use the Zoella Wonder Hand I love this so much. It makes my hands so soft. I have a review on this, which you can check out if you want. 
http://lookitsfifi.blogspot.ie/2016/01/zoella-wonder-hand-moisturising-hand.html


Planning my day:

I like to plan my days on days that I want to be productive or study. I find that when I have something written down it is more of a goal to me, and when I tick it off I just feel good. Not going to lie, I did stray away from this a little bit, not doing as much study as I should have considering that the Junior Cert is seven weeks away.. but we're not going to mention that. 


I started off my homework and study plan with English Homework, personally English is one of my favorite subjects and I like to start with a subject I like just so I can feel some what good about myself. I find that when I do homework or when I study for a subject like Business or Irish which I am not good at all I can feel sad or my motivation drops.


Literally all I did today was homework and study. I'm glad I did it, but I wish I did a little bit more. I wish it wasn't so hard to study. This is my weekend morning routine I hope you enjoyed it. Personally, I love watching and reading Routine videos on YouTube and Blogs, because I get to see the day in the life of that person. If you would like me to do another routine or another type of Blog post let me know. Hope you slay this week.
Lots of love,
         Fiona xx