Wednesday 30 December 2015

New year, new me?

Hello lovelies! How are you all! I hope you're having an amazing day or had depending on what time you're reading this! It's been a while since my last blog post but it's been christmas and I've been studying really hard and stuff. No I haven't been studying because it's christmas it's a holiday! And I haven't had any time! I've just been trying to spend less time on the internet and more time actually living. But who am I kidding. 

By this title you're probably like 'ugh another one of those people' and I guess you're right to a certain extent. 

I'm being honest I think a new year is like a fresh start! You can put the last year behind you and try and correct the mistakes you made. I think it's quite refreshing and I love New Years! As for the 'new me' part, I have changed every New Years! Of course because I am getting older and hopefully more mature so of course I am changing. I am not saying that in, 2016 I am going to be the best person ever, I'm going to make no mistakes and just be a perfect person because let's be real no one is perfect. Everyone  makes mistakes whether they want to or not. When I compare myself to when I was 13 I am completly different. When I was 13 I was so unmature, weird (still haven't changed) and just *ugh* I hate thinking of 13 year old Fiona.  I'm 16 now, and yes it is only a three year gap but I have developed as a person. Each year I find myself becoming more and more confident. It is by the tinest bit, but it's better than nothing. In no way am I trying to be arrogant by saying that. 
I don't really know what the inspiration for this blog post was. So this is probably really random. But you should know how random I am by now. 

When I look back at 2015, it scares me how fast it went! It wasn't a terrible year I've had way worse! But it wasn't amazing, it was a tough year! But I got through it, and so did you! Just give yourself a pat on the shoulder for that! You're doing really well! I've lost a lot of people and gained such amazing friends and family. 

I want to try and make this year a year where I can really tackle my anxiety, just really mind my mental and physical health! I tell myself this ever year, but you know what I'm getting there and so are you! I want to be a happier person, I want to not care what people think of me! I want to try and be more confident in myself. One day hopefully I can look back and say I made it and I did it. That is the day I'm really looking foward to! I like the idea of New Years resolutions. Mine always goes something like this:

1. Be fitter
2. Have a flatter stomach
3 Be more confidence 
4. Try not to care what people think etc. 
5. Be a nicer person. 

You all may know what I mean and  honestly I'll work out non stop for like two weeks. Then it all goes down hill. So this year I'm going to try work out but not doing so much I stop. When I actually work out I feel really good about myself. 
Having more confidence is something that develops with time, patience & practice. I will get there. Eventually. 
Not caring what people think is a tough one. Hopefully  it will get better this year. Last but not least, I amn't as nice as I would like to be. I can be mean I'm going to try and start being nicer to people. There are so many more resolutions like studying more being more productive the list is endless.  
I think if you set yourself goals, have alot of confidence and patience in yourself you can do anything! 

Also this year I'm going to try and go fresh faced more. Usually I will always wear makeup if I'm heading out basically anywhere but school. It actually makes me really anxious. I'm constantly worrying if my foundation is too dark, if my mascara is too clumpy etc. Don't get me wrong I love makeup! I just want to try and become more confident to be more natural. 
Basically it is an attempt at trying to accept myself more. This in no way is a stab at people who wear makeup everyday, if you want to do that that's great! Do what you feel comfortable with! 


Basically the reason behind this is just a congratulations on how far you have gotten! You're doing amazing. There isn't a lot of posts on this. And I just wanted to reassure you. If you've been struggling for whatever reason, I want you to know that you're doing great! Even though it may not seem like it, you are! 

So as we're heading into the new year I just want to say mind yourself and others, stay positive, stay strong, stay determined and do whatever makes you happy! I don't think I can stress this enough!
I just want you guys to know that you are worth so much more than you know. This has become one of my go to quotes I really love it! I think we're just so hard on ourselves it's difficult to give self praise but you are doing great. 

I hope you have a fantastic year ahead, there may be a few bumps across your journey but that happens to everyone! Stay strong 
       Lots of love
              Fiona x

See ya in 2016 bitches!!! That sounds so crazy to say! Thank you so much for reading this! Love you x 

Instagragm: http.lookitsfifi
Twitter: lookitsfifi
Snapchat: fifimc99
Ask.fm: fionamcnamara 


Monday 21 December 2015

Weekend away & Newgrange

 

Hello lovelies! How are you all? I hope you're all great! I have had a really busy few days! 
I feel like this is going to be a really long blog because I have all of Saturday and Sunday! So without delay here goes! I feel like this is going to be really boring because I don't really have any idea of what I'm doing. 

So basically the whole idea behind the weekend away was a surprise few days for my older sister for her birthday! And it was so so nice!! 


Saturday the 19th of December 
My getting ready travel routine 
I don't really know what to call this if I'm being honest, but anyway here goes! 

So I woke up at around eight o'clock. 
I usually sleep in like a jersey and just pajamas pants or something. 

I then just wash my face with this! It's so good for dry skin! I also brush my teeth which I thought was self expandatory. 

I then had breakfast just some toast with chicken & ham, an orange and some water! 

Please excuse the state of my mirror, but I then just tried to find something to wear! I didn't go for this just because it's cropped and it's winter and I get really cold. I got this in Newlook and it says 'wake me up when it's Friday' 

This is actually my sisters, she got this in Penneys/Primark and it says 'trouble' I really like it. 

I then just did my makeup, this makeup bag is from Zoella Beauty and I love it! 

For my 'special occasion' (I tell myself this everyday)  this is the  Guicci Quality perfume, I love it so much! It smells so good! It's really dirty right now! 


I put on a little bit too much makeup, it's not matching to my neck which is really annoying! I'm on a mission to find a foundation that matches. The struggle is real. If anyone knows a good foundation for dry skin and has a good selection for pale skin! Please share x

I then usually do my hair, which for me is nothing I just leave it or put it in a ponytail, no inbetween. It looks very blonde considering I have never dyed it or out highlights in it! 
                                                                    ---


My Weekend: 

We then left for Kildare! Which was a long journey! We went to Kildare village and went shopping! 

I thought this looked very tumblr. I like it. A lot. 

So, I thought this would be a really good idea at the time, I don't think my brain processed this.. But yea. Amazing photography Fiona. 




I did go and take a normal picture of the reindeer, because I don't even think I have to explain lol. 



I then let my inner child go, and Ciara took a picture if me beside a REINDEER! 

And after that we drove to Drougheda (I think I spelt that right) which is in County Louth (I'm pretty sure). We were staying in a really nice hotel.
I then got ready for dinner! I topped up my makeup! 
The lipstick I am applying here is Rimmel 107! Which I am loving so much! 


I took a picture of my beautiful sister Ciara applying her mascara! She is so beautiful! I think she was using the lash accelator endless by Rimmel London.

This was my outfit! The yellow top is from Australia I'm not sure which brand because my Mom got it for me when she went there! As you can see the mirror picture of me applying my lipstick it's quite short in the back and pulls up but nevertheless I love it. My jeans are from Penneys and my boots are from River Island! 


I'm an idiot let's face it. 


Twin selfie! 



  We then went for dinner in a restaurant called 'The Kitchen' I think. It was pretty nice. We went for my sisters dinner party! It was really nice and cosy! And because I'm really amazing I forgot to take pictures, good job Fiona. Anyway I had macaroni and cheese with truffle oil. It was okay, it wasn't amazing but not bad. For desert we had an amazing cake!!! It was chocolate and basically they didn't put any flour in it! I think it makes it lighter of something and it was the best thing I have ever eaten!!!! And I didn't take a picture if that either. I'm so sorry! 
My anxiety at dinner wasn't great, I get really anxious in restaurants anyway especially when it comes to ordering. That is the tough part! But I managed. It was such a good dinner! The conversations were good and funny! And I think everyone had a great time! 

We then went back to the hotel and Ciara and I just went to bed early! And that was Saturday over! 

Sunday the 20th of December
So today's plan was going to Newgrange! And those of you who don't know what Newgrange is don't worry! It is a monument in County Meath. This is going to be the worst explanation ever! But basically it is an ancient monument made around five thousand years ago in the Neolithic period. Basically during the winter solistace light from the sun passes through the 'roof box' and enters the mound! And lights it up! If you would like more information on it you can go to their website : http://www.newgrange.com/ it is very interesting and so amazing! No joke! 
This is just my photo of it, it's not amazing quality! If you would like a better picture check google, and you'll definitely find better information over there. 

Ciara and I woke up at half five which was really silly, you see I thought we were leaving at a quarter past six but we weren't! Oh well! We were ready by like half six of something (not fully sure). I just wore what I wore yesterday which was a massive mistake, I'll tell you why later. 

When I was washing my face my T-shirt got wet. I went for a natural no makeup day! Simply because it was half five in the morning and I honestly wasn't bothered! 

We then left for Newgrange! Once we got to the visitor center we were picked up by a bus to the Newgrange monument! I came so unprepared and even that is an understatement! See originally I didn't know we were going to Newgrange so I didn't bring warm clothes. My shirt was really light, my cardigan was light and so was my coat and I forgot my heavy scarf. It was sooo cold. It was 9 degrees! Which isn't terrible, but the wind was so strong and just made it so cold. I have never been so cold ever!! 

It was well worth it though! It was so beautiful! 
This was the first photo I took it's blurry but oh well. 
It's so different seeing this on T.V every year and actually seeing it person, it is beautiful! 

This was off the main attraction, it's like a mini Newgrange I guess. It was so cute inside. 


This is the roof box I was talking about earlier, it allows the light to enter! It was so mesmerizing, what struck me most was; how smart people were to be able to figure out that at a certain time each year the sun passes through at a certain angle! It was amazing! 

I think the actual sun came up around twenty to nine, which we did have a really long wait in the cold. But it was well worth it! I'll just post a few photos showing the evolution of it:








This is my fav I like how it's blurry. 



This was the last one I took! 

After the sun had gone through we were allowed (after an incredible long wait) to actually go into Newgrange! The people who had won the 'lottery' for a want of a better word to go into Newgrange got to see the actual sun in there! We only saw a simulator, however with that being said it was still so so beautiful! It's so small In there, the mound is so big and all that's in there is a narrow path! But it's so beautiful! 


Apparently the light lasts in there for seventeen minutes. 



After this we went back to the visitor center and had something warm to eat. Because it was freeeeezing. 

After this we went shopping in Drogheda. I didn't take that many photos but I took some! Drogheda is lovely! 
I really like this, I was walking and accidentally took a photo! I really like it! 


This is just a river I passed on the way to dinner! It's so beautiful! 

We then left back for Clare, and I think I arrived home at around seven maybe! I had a really good time! 

And that was basically everything! I hope you enjoyed this! This is probably going to be my last post until January maybe I'll see :) So I hope everyone has an amazing Christmas and an amazing new years! Love you all! Lots of love,
                       Fiona x


Instagragm: lookitsfifi
Snapchat: fifimc99 
Ask.fm: fionamcnamara 
Twitter: lookitsfifi 

Saturday 12 December 2015

Festive rendezvous

Hey lovelies! How are you all? I hope you're having a fantastic day, and if not remember you can always do something to change it! 

I feel like this is going to be a really long blog.. Because I have so much to tell you all! I feel like I haven't blogged in a really long time, when in fact it hasn't even been a week since my last blog post! 
Today was a very rushed day, Ciara my twin and my mom just went into town and got some last minute christmas gifts! Before I go into that I have loads to tell you... 

Right, I have been quite reluctant to blog again because I got a few negative comments about my last blog post which I'm not going to go into much detail about. I heard some of it behind my back, and then I got a few on ask.fm. And I'm not going to lie, I thought if I ever got hate I would be fine and just accept it and move on. However that wasn't the case, I felt like my heart had been crushed into a thousand pieces. Because it may not seem like it but I'm actually a really sensitive person, and the slightest negative comment about me I just get really upset about (which I hate). The funny thing is if someone comes to me for advice about getting  negative comments I just say to them to try and keep their head up and remember that the person is just jealous. That is soooo much easier said than done if I'm being honest. I crumbled. Basically I came so close to hitting the delete button on this, but thankfully because I have such amazing friends and family that are so amazing and supportive they persuaded me not to delete it. Which now I am so glad I didn't. I may be the worst blogger ever and really annoying and over reactive and stuff but I really do like blogging, so that's what imma do! My friends and family are so amazing! 
I just want to say, if you are doing something you love doing and some people are unsupportive of it, just tell them to go fuck themselves. It's your life, live it for you not them. Because you should never stop doing the things you love because of what some people think! 

Also I woke up this morning discovering that my blog had hit 2,000 views! Which is so crazy! Thank you to everyone who is so supportive and looks at it thank you!!! Originally when I started this blog I did not think anyone would look at it, but surprisingly people actually have! And it means the world!

My day today has been very busy! Is it just me ladies or after doing your makeup in the morning does your room look like a bomb has hit it! I sit on the floor and do it infront of my mirror so the floor literally looks like this... 

Everything ends up everywhere! (My room currently looks like this still...) 

Also my makeup was so rushed today that I didn't even apply mascara, which is a shocker as that's one of the first things I apply! I did my foundation in like two minutes! Which is really bad I know. 

Basically Ciara, Mom  and I went shopping!! I didn't buy any clothes because I didn't see anything I liked. And anyone who goes to Ennis frequently will know that there is practically nothing for teenagers bar Penneys (Primark) and DV8 (which I only like a few things in). Ciara got some really nice clothes! 
Ciara and I then went shopping just to get some last minute gifts. For anyone who watches Zoella's videos on YouTube you may know that she raves about rimmel 107 lipstick a lot! So I decided to see what it was like and got it! 
I think the packaging is so cute! 

Ignore my nails please.. 

It looks more pinkish in this photo than it actually is, I'm terrible at describing things but I would say it's a light berry colour! Can I just say I'm so glad I bought it! It is so pretty! However one thing I would say is it dries like a bitch! But I can get over that! 

I got this photo from Zoe's instagragm where she is wearing it! Can we all just take a moment to take in how stunning she is!!  

We then went to SuperMac's and had some dinner! It was actually really nice! And the woman at the till was so lovely, it's always such a bonus to have a nice sales assistant it really makes everything so much better! I hate having some who is so rude because then I feel terrible after wards! 

We then headed for home. I had a cheeky little treat... 
SOO good. 


We then started wrapping the gifts! And when I say I wrapped, I just stayed on snapchat (fifimc99) while Ciara did the wrapping.. Guilty. I did wrap at last four things and they turned out terrible. I love wrapping so much (even though I'm so bad at it) because it just feel so Christmassy and of course me being me the Christmas music was blaring!! 

This is how everything turned out. You can also see how amazingly wrapped everything is.... 

Some of you may not know what Ciara looks like, so here you go! I know we're so alike.... Add me on snapchat if you haven't already (fifimc99) 


And honestly that was pretty much my day in a nutshell! I love those chill days where you can just relax and have fun! Especially in the build up to christmas! Even though I should be studying because I have my mocks after January.. Which I am so scared and screwed for. 

I have been in such a good mood today! However I do think I'm coming down with something because it was so so cold today! I feel really chatty... Which is never a good thing. I am literally so excited for Christmas! 
If you have read this far down, thank you!!! Hope to see you again soon! 
Byeee love you lots,  
                               Fiona x


Instagragm: @http.lookitsfifi
Snapchat: fifimc99
Ask.fm/ : fionamcnamara 
Twitter :lookitsfifi 

Friday 4 December 2015

Mental breakdowns & how to overcome them

Hello lovelies, how are you all? I hope you're having a  great day and if not remember you can change it! 

As you can tell by my title this is about mental breakdowns and my tips. Honestly it is a really deep topic, and I am sorry! I just felt that this needed to be talked about I did want to give my opinions about it. I know most of my topics in this are quite deep, and I am aware that this is another deep blog, but I am going to try and make this motivational! 
This is something I am actually quite nervous to talk about, I'm not sure if I'm going to post it or not. And if I do, I really hope it helps! 

On Wednesday the 2nd of December (two days ago basically) I experienced something that I had never really.. Experienced before. It was so terrifying.
 I came home from school as normal (I didn't do supervised study) and up until then my day was actually going good, I was happy. However, it didn't last for long. I remember having quite a lot of study to do, and some homework I was finding quite difficult. I was also feeling very sick, my stomach was sore and I had a headache. I remember sitting down to do my English homework and this wave of anxiety washed over me. I started getting really nervous and I started shaking. I didn't realise how nervous and terrified I was for my exams in June until that moment. I started crying, and I coudn't stop. (I'm not going to go into too much detail about this because I don't want this to be very depressing). I tried so hard to do my homework and I just cried again and again. Eventually it was nine o'clock (I started my homework at half five) and I still hadn't even finished my English homework. I was so so anxious and I was freaking out. I asked my guardians for a note to excuse me from my homework for that night and thankfully they wrote the note. 

I don't think I have ever, experienced something so terrifying and so draining. It was so awful, thankfully I don't experiance this often, I do get panic attacks quite frequently and they had nothing on what I had just experienced. (Of course in having said that panic attacks are still terrifying).  
I can't remember ever feeling so down, sad and alone in a really long time. And all of this because of school? 
If some of you know me in person you'll know that I worry about everything literally!! I am what, four months in school and already am so mentally and physically drained from it. This doesn't even motivate me to study, it motivates me to sleep! I am trying my best, but it's so hard when you get so much homework and then are expected to study! 
I think the reason I completly broke down is because since I have started school I've been so worried and haven't really talked to anyone about it. So I have bottled it all in! Which is never ever good. 
Literally can relate to this so much!!! 


Apart of me feels that this is going to last right before my exams (and probably get worse). I really don't know how long I can deal with this, as I've said already it is so mentally and physically draining. I am not going to end this like this, I am going to give some of my tips (that seem to work for me)! 

TIPS:
1. Acknowledgement. Acknowledge what you are feeling, do not ignore it. (It makes it worse).


2. Relax. Breathe. Remember in for 10 and out for 10 and do this until you start to feel so much more relaxed. 


3. Do not be afraid to cry! Crying actually helps so much, it lets out emotion that possibly has been trapped for ages. (Let it gooooo) 


4. Talk to someone! This is so important! If you're like me and keeps everything bottled in, tell someone you trust it helps so much! As they say 'a problem shared is a problem halved' 


5. Do something you love doing, something that relaxes you! No matter what it is! For me it's photography and watching YouTube! And even writing this blog! This helps me so much! Do what you love doing! 

For me this breakdown happened because of school. And I get so mad at myself when I let school be the reason for my anxiety and tears. It really annoys me. I'm stressed all the time in school! I will put on a brave face but deep down, I'm not doing good! 

If you're like me and finding school really difficult, remember that as long as you're doing your best that is all that matters! Please don't be like me and compare your results to anyone else's! Even when people are like 'what did you get' if you don't want to tell them you don't have to! I used to tell everyone that asked what I got, whereas now I'll only tell like three people because to me my results are private. 

This is very deep, and kind of sad! But sadly I can relate to this :/ ps (anyone else sing this) 



Decided to end this on a lighthearted note! Stay strong x 




I really hope this has helped you! This was very difficult for me to write, as of course it is very personal! But if I can help even one of you reading this, this makes everything worth it! If you've got this far thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed! (I'm going to try and start writing more light heart stuff as well, don't worry). I love you all so much,
  Lots of love,
                   Fiona x 


Instagram: @http.lookitsfifi
Snapchat: fifimc99 (I accept everyone) 
Twitter: @lookitsfifi
Ask.fm: fionamcnamara (you can ask me anything and I'll answer)